Thought provoked writing

Head throbbing, mind in an utter haze
Skin tingling, Muscles aching
Bones creaking..
Eyes bulging, ears ringing
Mouth in bitter dryness
Heart pounding on and on, denying a moments rest

Death the long awaited peace
Death the eternal dream I lust for
Death, which I can not submit to..

Head still throbbing, mind still in an utter haze
Skin still tingling, muscles still aching
Bones still creaking..
Eyes still bulging, ears still ringing
Mouth still in bitter dryness
Heart still pounding on and on, denying a moments rest

I live on.
For the sake of someone I do not know.
For the sake of someone I may never know.
For the sake of someone, That may not even exist.

*Needs a like button for me to click*

There was once a man that could only lose.
Lose and lose.
He lost in love.
He lost in life.
He even lost in things he loved.
He cursed the world for his foul luck.
But never once did the world answer back.
He soon gave up.
Fed up with it all.
He took dagger to throat.
,and ended it all.
Yet his body refused to die.
As if on cue.
The world answered.
"You are a coward."
"You lose because you are a coward."
"You cannot die because you are a coward."

The man could only weep at this realization.
This epiphany.
That he is.
,and will for-ever be.
The loser of the world.

The same four walls that have surrounded him.
Half his life they have witnessed.
These unforgiving walls have seen it all.
They would tell the tale of an ordinary person.
Whose life so far never really amounted to anything.
They would share that the person was unenthusiastic of his life.
That he accepted the course drawn for him.
Until one day he experienced what having something to live for was.
These four walls observed his happiness with the same cold expression.
But they ponder as to why he would have destroyed that himself so suddenly the following season.
As they watched this person spiral into a deep pit of self-loathing.
The same four walls could only sigh..

To find oneself in an infinite delusion
The line between whats real and whats not becomes ever so blurry
Insanity becomes common place
Actions occur faster than they can be thought out
The true nature of all becomes apparent. Too apparent
Stories turn into vivid memories
Memories become hard-to-remember fairy-tales
The voices not there whisper ever so endearingly
ones that are cause severe pain

In this backwards existence, living a life that's stagnantly dead
Would dying a death lead to invigorating life?

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The stagnation comes to a choking point;a critical mass
Large slices of time can be hacked away, like a side of beef
Those cut pieces, in their blandness, won't be missed

The one who trudged on for future happiness
Is found sitting; staring at a distance with eyes a-glaze
He can only wait

The failure who lost even to death
Is found gleefully snickering; while caressing a meat-cleaver
He can only wait

The poor soul who took many things for granted in such a small space
Is found burning down more bridges; as uncaring as ever
He can only wait

The one caught in an endless torrent of confusion
Is found eerily calm; in a creek of certainty
He can only wait

The realization that time has become nothing but bland meat that can thrown away
The nostalgia of finding another;The uselessness of attempting success
The disdain of contentment;The epiphany in finding order in chaos

In the frozen time; many a-thing has changed
The one that is most jarring
Is that things done here no longer matter

Live the way you desire
Let no other decide that for you
It will not matter after a time

-and so I wait
and wait
and wait.

Time waits for no man
Not even a man of immortal blood
Many things have changed.

New walls surround him.
all things that waited are no longer meaningful-
the man has finally grown one little bit.

yet he find himself in the same rut
'why do i do this?'
'what do i do this for?'

the new walls laugh
new friends met have come and gone
yet the newest can only watch in confusion.

it has been years.
yet i have not learned at all
the truth continues to tease me.